Advice for New Moms
My sister Katie sent these ideas to a friend who was having a couple rough nights with her 7 month old. The baby's sleep patterns were changing and the friend and her husband were starting to be at odds about how best to handle them. I think these ideas work for many issues of parenting.
Katie really has a heart for new moms and always gives great advice for those of us who may be feeling a little down or like we are definately out of the running for Mother of The Year. I thought some of you might be encouraged by these tips. Enjoy!
1. Shut out all the voices. You've read plenty, sought out plenty. It's time to shut the books and the turn off the Web and just test things out based on what you think you're instincts are telling you. The only way to develop those instincts is by trial and error--if you think something is "it," try it out! If it doesn't work quite right, tweak it until it does.
2. Know that you know what is best out of all the options and you will choose what's best for your baby...and be/stay confident about it.
3. Fake confidence--behave and act as if you have confidence for as long as it takes--until you develop it. Works every time, I swear--no kidding. (The confidence you have is not in a certain technique or tool, but in your own ability to mother: your instincts. Have confidence that they are your hard-and-fast reliable guides and begin to develop them (see #1)
4. Empower your husband (by encouraging him and praising him when he's successful) to seek out his own ways of fathering the baby, which will hopefully and happily be different than yours, even if he "steals" some of your secrets/tricks!
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Friday, January 25, 2008
TAA- Tylenol Addicts Anonymous
Is there such a thing? If not, I need to start one! I think Max is addicted to Tylenol! : ) He has been taking it for his teething pain and the 2 times I've gotten it out today he was whining non-stop until he saw the bottle, then he broke into a smile. Let's hope it's just the grape flavoring he likes!
Is there such a thing? If not, I need to start one! I think Max is addicted to Tylenol! : ) He has been taking it for his teething pain and the 2 times I've gotten it out today he was whining non-stop until he saw the bottle, then he broke into a smile. Let's hope it's just the grape flavoring he likes!
Monday, January 21, 2008
Operating Instructions
If you've never read Anne Lamott, you should! She is one eccentric liberal, which is a direct contrast to my straight-and-narrow conservative self, but I just love how she writes! I think she would fall into the group of people I think of as "imperfect" (see posting from last week) . I am currently reading her book, Operating Instructions, A Journal of My Son's First Year. She just really knows how to turn a phrase. Her language might be a tad offensive, but she just seems to be such a real person. Here is a little excerpt from my reading this morning (curse words are bleeped!) :
"4 a.m.
I nursed the baby a while ago and we had gone back to sleep on the futon on the living room floor, which is still our headquarters, I heard him begin to whimper, and I thought, "Go back to sleep, you little ^&*(." He kept whimpering, like a golden retriever whose feelings you've hurt, but he wasn't really crying, so I didn't wake up all the way. I kept shushing him and thinking, "You whiny little bugger." Finally, at least ten minutes later, with total hostility and resentment, I roused myself enough to reach over and rub his back, which sometimes helps a little - and he wasn't there! I turned on the light, and he wasn't anywhere on the bed! I actually thought he'd been kidnapped; of left. It turns out he had somehow scooted off the bed and landed on the floor between the head of the futon and the wall and had just lain there whimpering. I don't think I can capture in words how I felt at the moment."
I just laughed outloud at this when I read it because I know those types of thoughts have run through my head when exhaustion hits. I love that she has the courage to publish these thoughts. From the rest of her journal it's very obvious that she is head-over-heels in love with her son, but I think all new moms can identify with these feelings.
If you're not into the parenting thing, her book Traveling Mercies is also a fun read.
If you've never read Anne Lamott, you should! She is one eccentric liberal, which is a direct contrast to my straight-and-narrow conservative self, but I just love how she writes! I think she would fall into the group of people I think of as "imperfect" (see posting from last week) . I am currently reading her book, Operating Instructions, A Journal of My Son's First Year. She just really knows how to turn a phrase. Her language might be a tad offensive, but she just seems to be such a real person. Here is a little excerpt from my reading this morning (curse words are bleeped!) :
"4 a.m.
I nursed the baby a while ago and we had gone back to sleep on the futon on the living room floor, which is still our headquarters, I heard him begin to whimper, and I thought, "Go back to sleep, you little ^&*(." He kept whimpering, like a golden retriever whose feelings you've hurt, but he wasn't really crying, so I didn't wake up all the way. I kept shushing him and thinking, "You whiny little bugger." Finally, at least ten minutes later, with total hostility and resentment, I roused myself enough to reach over and rub his back, which sometimes helps a little - and he wasn't there! I turned on the light, and he wasn't anywhere on the bed! I actually thought he'd been kidnapped; of left. It turns out he had somehow scooted off the bed and landed on the floor between the head of the futon and the wall and had just lain there whimpering. I don't think I can capture in words how I felt at the moment."
I just laughed outloud at this when I read it because I know those types of thoughts have run through my head when exhaustion hits. I love that she has the courage to publish these thoughts. From the rest of her journal it's very obvious that she is head-over-heels in love with her son, but I think all new moms can identify with these feelings.
If you're not into the parenting thing, her book Traveling Mercies is also a fun read.
Smiling Time
After putting Max down for his morning nap, I rushed to take a shower and happily thought of what I would do for my free hour - read, watch TV, clean - ha!?? Upon getting out of the shower, I heard him STILL making a racket! Normally he falls right to sleep. I went in his room and he had managed to get himself unswaddled, the little Houdini. Anyway, as soon as he saw me he gave me the biggest smile and got all excited and actually seemed to say, "Yes! My parole officer has arrived! I will now be released from my crib prison. Praise God!" Being the mean mommy I am, I replied, "No. It's not smiling time. It's nap time."
I tried to be serious, but I had to laugh when I thought about telling my child it's "not smiling time." This could very well be the first thing on his list when he goes to therapy one day!
After putting Max down for his morning nap, I rushed to take a shower and happily thought of what I would do for my free hour - read, watch TV, clean - ha!?? Upon getting out of the shower, I heard him STILL making a racket! Normally he falls right to sleep. I went in his room and he had managed to get himself unswaddled, the little Houdini. Anyway, as soon as he saw me he gave me the biggest smile and got all excited and actually seemed to say, "Yes! My parole officer has arrived! I will now be released from my crib prison. Praise God!" Being the mean mommy I am, I replied, "No. It's not smiling time. It's nap time."
I tried to be serious, but I had to laugh when I thought about telling my child it's "not smiling time." This could very well be the first thing on his list when he goes to therapy one day!
Ahhhh, Sleep!
Max actually slept for 4 hours straight when I first put him down last night and then only woke up one other time til morning! Sleep, glorious sleep!! He is teething somethin' fierce and has been waking up about 3-4 times before midnight and then another 2-4 times before morning so it has been reminiscent of the first couple weeks home for a while now. I have been desperate for a decent night's sleep. I don't harbor any high hopes that this is our new pattern since these teeth have yet to appear, BUT it is wonderful to feel a little more rested for the first time in weeks.
Max actually slept for 4 hours straight when I first put him down last night and then only woke up one other time til morning! Sleep, glorious sleep!! He is teething somethin' fierce and has been waking up about 3-4 times before midnight and then another 2-4 times before morning so it has been reminiscent of the first couple weeks home for a while now. I have been desperate for a decent night's sleep. I don't harbor any high hopes that this is our new pattern since these teeth have yet to appear, BUT it is wonderful to feel a little more rested for the first time in weeks.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Breastfeeding Tip
Since I have a few friends out there who are currently breastfeeding, I thought I'd share a tip that my sister passed along to me the other day. If you are trying to pump and not having great success (I was pumping several times a day for 20 minutes at a time only to get .5 to 1 ounce a day total for a couple weeks!!), try feeding your baby on one side while pumping on the other side. I was amazed at how much more milk I got by doing this! It was quite precarious and I could've used a 3rd hand, but it worked so well it was worth the trouble. Thanks Katie!
While I'm on the subject of breastfeeding, check out my friend Loree's new blog on the right. Loree is a new mom (Tahli, 7 months) and has had a bit of a roller coaster ride with breastfeeding. She's stuck it out, but it hasn't been easy.
Happy Sunday!
Since I have a few friends out there who are currently breastfeeding, I thought I'd share a tip that my sister passed along to me the other day. If you are trying to pump and not having great success (I was pumping several times a day for 20 minutes at a time only to get .5 to 1 ounce a day total for a couple weeks!!), try feeding your baby on one side while pumping on the other side. I was amazed at how much more milk I got by doing this! It was quite precarious and I could've used a 3rd hand, but it worked so well it was worth the trouble. Thanks Katie!
While I'm on the subject of breastfeeding, check out my friend Loree's new blog on the right. Loree is a new mom (Tahli, 7 months) and has had a bit of a roller coaster ride with breastfeeding. She's stuck it out, but it hasn't been easy.
Happy Sunday!
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